Who should succeed to the British throne?

Assuming that we’re going to completely ignore the fact that , that they’re mostly Greek and German, and that the Monarchy is reminiscent of an age where money and class mattered more than respect, democracy and basic human rights… who should the British public be content with being their Monarch?

As a principle (if you support the idea that we’re not all equal)… the Monarchy is supposed to reflect a pure and blinding example of how we’re supposed to live our lives and act as people. Following is the current line of succession to the British throne:

  1. HRH The Prince of Wales
  2. HRH Prince William of Wales
  3. HRH Prince Henry of Wales
  4. HRH The Duke of York
  5. HRH Princess Beatrice of York
  6. HRH Princess Eugenie of York
  7. HRH The Earl of Wessex
  8. James, Viscount Severn
  9. Lady Louise Windsor
  10. HRH The Princess Royal

One problem is the first in line to the throne Prince Charles, although he does brilliant things with The Prince’s Trust, is a lying philanderer who cheated on his wife.

The third in line to the throne Prince Henry is a wild racist twit with no self-control (no wonder considering his grandfather Prince Philip’s tradition of verbally fucking up).

Although it doesn’t matter because he’s seventh in line to the throne, Prince Edward is widely rumoured to be gay which wouldn’t do at all for the aristocracy.   The King can’t have a husband because there’ll be no Royal child to ascend to the throne (or descend to the throne depending on which way you see it).

So basically that leaves Prince Andrew and Prince William.   Pretending for a second that I’m a monarchist I think it’s a toss-up between the two.   Prince William is still young and will be relatively young when he becomes King, so he may have a lifetime of grooming to help him.   But Prince Andrew, as far as I know has no skeletons in his closet, has served his country and doesn’t have a cheating philanderer for a father – just a bigoted racist twit.   Prince Andrew doesn’t seem to have made any public gaffes and all around seems to be a decent candidate.

Ahhhhh choices, choices!

Ryan Paul

A British expat living in a state of deep hatred for the types of people produced in Kenora.

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